So much has happend in the past couple of weeks. S* and I are good I'm a little edgy because of my Mom.  The cancer  has really spread... I mean.  My sis moved in and she's going through a tough time as well also not dealing with my mom's sit. very well.  I just feeling a little overwhelmed...ok a lot.  I have my little break downs and then ok...well not really but I pretend.  I need a time out where my head can just turn off but thats not goig to happen....I wish I could prepare myself for whats to come with my mom but I know thats prob. not going to happen.  I keep thinking what should I be doing to get her affairs in order but then I remember Andrew should be doing that and I don't want drama...cuz god knows theres going to be enough of that.  I miss her but I talk to her everyday.  My hearts torn in two, well now that the tears have welled up and I'm having trouble reading I guess it'd time to go be strong for her and visit at the hospital.          

So I don't really know what to do...I mean I fell not good.  The world is overwhelming me, nowhere to turn, nowhere to go. Nobody to talk to, I keep it all in and I just want to explode.I wonder what I'm doing here sometimes...I mean really doing here????  I'm tired of being the person that every one comes to with their problems, the person that pulls them up from the ground.  Who pulls me up? 
I'm at a loss, so sad......

 Everything is stressful and trying to be stong for Shane is my priority.  I wish I could just take all his stress away.  I know we will get through it.  I just worry.  So I have told both my parents everything that is going to be happening and they are cool with it.  That makes me so happy atleast Shane can be himself around them.  Shane has officially moved in and everything is going great, which was no different then before.  I just which I can get all of Pam's stuff out of there really soon.  She's driving me crazy.  I can't wait till Thursday!!!!  

OK.  So everything is going amazing in my relationship.  I wish I could take all of Shane's stress away.  I know I can't but I'd like to.  I am trying to make things easier...don't know that I am but I'm trying.  I am so content and happy I don't no what to do with myself.  I just can't believe this is all happening.  PINCH ME!!!!

I'm trying to make some plans for the summer and can't wait to share things, but sometimes I feel like I come on to strong.  I know were living together now and he's cool with how things are but I feel like a nag sometimes.  I'm a planner I like to know whats going to happen when and making plans for everything thats hard for me not to do, so I guess I feel like I'm nagging...but I only want to make plans.

PINCH ME!!!!